Does anyone here watch “Real Housewives”? And I don’t mean the TV show. I mean actual housewives, through their kitchen windows. I kid. I would never do such a thing, would I? Maybe.
But the progressives at the Working Families Party are launching their newest goal: to radicalize the fans of the “Real Housewives” franchise. The goal is to organize the fan base to embrace woke beliefs. Yeah, how does that work? How do you organize people who believe a skinny girl martini is a healthy breakfast?
Now, remember, when you hear someone say “organize,” it’s not in the typical definition. It’s not like helping you get your taxes in order or alphabetizing your record collection or placing your meds on a shelf that Kat can’t reach.
Organize means radicalize, which is hilarious because the least organized person on Earth is a radical. That’s why they boycott businesses instead of running them. There’s a reason looting doesn’t start at 7 a.m.
But this is a new left-wing thing called fandom organization in which groups infest social media streams and litter them with left-wing platitudes. But it’s funny trying to radicalize people who watch “Real Housewives.” To do what exactly? That from now on, you only throw biodegradable wine glasses at each other? I don’t think these guys watch “Housewives.” In case you have never watched “Real Housewives,” here’s a taste.
HOUSEWIFE 1: Prostitution w****. You are ******* engaged 19 times. ******* stupid b****.
HOUSEWIFE 2: You never go near my husband. Do you understand that? You never go after my ******* husband.
HOUSEWIFE 3: Here’s your ******* planner, b****.
HOUSEWIFE 4: I’ll throw your skinny little a** in the pool.
HOUSEWIFE 3: Show it. Throw me.
HOUSEWIFE 5: Don’t touch my daughter.
HOUSEWIFE 3: B****. **** you.
GUTFELD: COLLEGES ARE BRAIN-FREE ZONES
I love that so much — but all that wasted wine. Julie Banderas would be attacking them with a sponge. But maybe what really would help those people is a strong dose of communism. It’s got to be cheaper than Botox. Watch five minutes of those shows and you’ll think maybe the Taliban has the right idea. I don’t mean that for a second — maybe.
So how will they woke-ify the wives? These are women who think following the science means another facelift, and they already dress like drag queens. But the left are going to build a following on their Instagram pages, create memes and reels that connect “The Real Housewives” fans with progressive politics. And only progressives could come up with that mismatch. Take something shrieking, mindless, loud and stupid, and the pair it up with “The Real Housewives.”
But this is necessary given the “Housewives” are rife with White supremacy. True, according to the Huffington Post, where writers are as dumb as a post, they cite as proof that a Housewife’s friend once used the OK sign. And that is not OK because it’s a White power symbol. Tell it to these folks here. That’s the best part. It’s the best part of White supremacy, you get to hang out with all these amazing Black people.
But what about people who just want to watch their favorite trashy show without getting clobbered with clumsy, stupid woke ****? Well, you’re part of the story. You’re part of the problem because everything changed with evil Donald Trump. Once he won in 2016, people could now ask others who they voted for. And it was a moral crime if you admitted to backing the orange Godzilla. Your private choices were now open for public condemnation, and it went from voting to vaccines, which created more busybodies than antibodies.
In every facet to life, things took a political turn, meaning when lefties lose an election, then they come after you. Politics is now more personal than your hygiene. And because the woke are miserable, they need to spread the misery everywhere. They don’t have a life outside of politics. They are, for the most part, sour, unhappy, smug, little creeps who were that way in high school, so as adults, they hung out with like-minded people to fill the void in their miserable personal lives.
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Thus, the progressive movement was born, and now, like corn syrup, they want politics integrated into everything. They believe every single part of life is open to political influence as long as it only comes from them. Now it’s in schools, sports and entertainment, and now they want to target fan bases.
I’d like to see this split spread, see how it goes. You know, try NASCAR. Because there’s nothing a NASCAR fan loves more than a good education on race and LGBTQ issues. While they’re watching an actual race, those cars may make nothing but left turns, but the fans certainly aren’t going to.
Bottom line: People watch the “Housewives” as trashy escapism. And political crap bleeding into those shows would only ruin it.
DENISE: Oh, hi, Becca. I’m so surprised to see you here tonight. I thought you’d be at home reviewing the Q3 GDP reports from the Bureau of Economic Analysis.
BECCA: Excuse me, b****. Why would Denise say that? She knows the strength of the U.S. dollar can influence midterm elections, especially when it pertains to the European markets. Oh, this coming from a w**** who routinely overestimates the employment rate.
DENISE: W****? Well, at least I’m still married to my belief in representative, bicameral legislature. Whatever. Oh, my God. Is that Sharon?
BECCA: She is a nightmare. I heard that she thinks the Constitution was created and ratified on the same day.
DENISE: What a s***.
BECCA: Couldn’t have said it better myself.