GREG GUTFELD: Who are the real election tamperers?

Happy Tuesday, my special Tuesday friends. So guess who’s back in the news? I’ll give you a hint. Her picture should be on household cleaners to induce vomiting. She’s harder to get rid of than Brian Kilmeade. And if you look, her eyes, they’re crazier than ever. She doesn’t have Bette Davis eyes. She has Marty Feldman eyes. I miss him.

But imagine sitting next to that on a long flight. No wonder Bill preferred Epstein’s jet. RIP. That was one of the reasons. The in-flight massages. But after two years of Democrats telling us that it was worse than 911to say that an election was stolen, what’s their new message? Take it away, crazy lady.


HILLARY CLINTON: Hello, Indivisibles. I’m here to highlight something that is keeping me up at night. Right-wing extremists already have a plan to literally steal the next presidential election.

Indivisibles. Are those, like, little sandwiches? Yeah, that. That. I bet that’s what’s keeping her up at night. Not her drunk husband and the cackling of two Hooters waitresses playing new Twister downstairs. Saying that as a jealous person. She claims that even the 2024 election, which is more than two years away, could already be undone by evil Republicans who have the power to overturn presidential elections.

But if that was true, which it’s not, the last election probably would have been the most likely time to wield such power, don’t you think? She then uses this claim to make money because Haiti hasn’t had an earthquake in a while.


HILLARY CLINTON: Will you support “Crush the Coup” by donating to Indivisible and state legislature candidates? Your dollars could very well decide the winners.

So here she is, undermining a prized institution, our voting system, all to make a buck. This is worse than the Civil War, 911, the “Full House” reboot. But once a Clinton, always a Clinton. The most honest thing she’s ever done is run for Senate in a state she didn’t live in. But it’s something. Remember just minutes ago, it was considered a threat to democracy to question the legitimacy of an election. That it was worse than the Civil War to even broach the subject.


So here’s the rule. Democracy is only in peril when the Republicans complain about elections, but it’s never the reverse. And yet, who are the real election tamperers? I mean, who pushed the dossier? Who pushed Russian collusion? Who buried the laptop story? And is it the party that cheats against the other side that’s bad? Or is it the party that also cheats against their own candidates? When the DNC gave debate questions to Hillary, it wasn’t to beat Trump. Remember Bernie? Does anybody remember?

I thought that was a good point, but you guys are so quiet. No. Stop it. Stop it. I don’t need any mercy applause. This isn’t “The Daily Show.” But if you bring up the possibility of election malfeasance, you’re accused of playing into the Big Lie. Of course, the only big lie turned out to be that Kamala Harris was fit to hold any office other than regional manager of Amway Sales in Northern California. 

And now, sensing defeat, what are the Dems doing? They’re saying that if they lose, it’s because the election was stolen. And how do you figure that? Making sure the people voting are who they say they are. I mean, that seems like a good thing. That’s why they verify that I’m Greg Gutfeld when I order my thongs off Craigslist. Slightly used.

Too bad the media hasn’t called the Dems on their hypocrisy, but they won’t. You know, it’s the same reason the Buccaneers aren’t telling Tom Brady to be with his wife – because he’s on their team. So now they’re telling you the election is already corrupt even before the voting starts. They aren’t even waiting for the fake dossier. Check out this hypocritical dipstick suggesting that other countries should run our elections.


NICOLLE WALLACE: I don’t want to get too off topic, but if you read through the papers this weekend, the threats to our elections in what, two and a half weeks are so pervasive and they are so dire and they include violence. I mean, do you think it’s time to ask for friends and allies to come over and help us monitor our elections? We used to do that in other burgeoning and threatened democracies. 

God. I’m not saying she’s drunk, but I’m not saying she’s not not drunk. Right.? How is she still employed? Who does she have nude pictures of, anyway? I’d keep her employed too, don’t want to see that. Meanwhile, over at The Washington Post, bald barf bag Max Boot writes that democracy will literally die both at home and abroad if you vote Republicans into office. True, it appears that the worst thing that can happen to democracy is voting. And we need a party that raids the former President’s wife’s panty drawer to preserve freedom.


Meanwhile, you saw this on the Museum of Head Injuries, also known as “The View.” They pounce on Ted Cruz for questioning election results after the Dems, including the Dems on “The View”, do the same thing.


TED CRUZ: There are a lot of folks in the media that try to, any time a Republican is in front of a TV camera, try to say the election was fair and square and legitimate. You know who you all don’t do that to? You don’t do it to Hillary Clinton, who stood up and said, “Trump stole the election.” You don’t do that to Stacey Abrams who said that the election was stolen. They sat here and said it was illegitimate.


And it was? She didn’t realize it, but she just proved his point. And that’s funny. But everything on “The View” is funny. Thank God that show is in scratch and sniff. It must smell like a bird cage over there. That’s disgusting.

So it’s no wonder violence is now erupting. Did you see that a volunteer for Marco Rubio got beaten to a pulp canvasing for his candidate? I bet you didn’t see that on the news because he’s probably or allegedly the wrong victim. But he looked like he just rode New York subway. And why shouldn’t he be beaten? He’s a threat to democracy, just like you and me.

Greg Gutfeld breaks down the difference in how Democrats and Republicans are treated when bringing up concerns over election integrity on ‘Gutfeld!’

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