Mike Leach is not a coach who goes to a podium and merely recites generic responses. He’s quite the opposite in fact, especially when his Mississippi State Bulldogs football team are coming off at 15th straight loss to Alabama.
The Alabama Crimson Tide dominated Mississippi State on the way to a 30-6 win. No wide receiver for the Bulldogs was able to surpass the 73 yards mark, much to Leach’s dismay.
During his postgame session with the media Leach went on a long and epic rant in which he lamented the poor receiver play with colorful anecdotes featuring a station wagon and even dinosaurs.
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Leach started the longwinded rant, saying the team’s wide receivers have to start utilizing their hands more. It took an odd turn when he began reflecting on toy dinosaurs has a child.
“Well I think we need to use our hands better. We don’t move our hands very good. You know, when I was a kid and I was in grade school, there was this nice big dinosaur guy. I can’t remember the gas station, but they would give you a free dinosaur [toy]if you filled up there. That’s back when they had commercials on TV, and then they would give something to the kids like me.
“And then the idea was that you should raise hell with your parents every time you’re in the station wagon. We had one, a good classic like one off the Wonder Years, one of those fake woody ones, you know, fake painted-on wood. But then the best is it would always without exception the finish and the varnish on it would peel. So then it looked more bogus than ever,” Leach said.
Leach went on to talk about how he used his imagination to pretend the station wagon was a spaceship.
“So we had one of those and of course I tried to sit way back, in that jump seat back there, so you could pretend you were in a spaceship or something, and, but anyway, so they’d have these commercials, and they’re hoping to get the kids to raise hell, ‘Let’s go to this gas station.’
“I can’t remember what the gas station it was, and they’d give you a little dinosaur, you know. And you’d go to grade school and all that, and they’d start talking about evolution like as in if you don’t use a certain part of your body, as time evolves over century upon century, in natural selection, that part of the body disappears and even that animal might disappear,” Leach noted.
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Leach also shared, in his own unique way, it was critical for him to coach the wide receivers better.
“I’m genuinely fearful that on our team if me and the other coaches don’t get them right, that about a generation from now their kids and their grandkids won’t have hands. Because from a lack of use those hands just disappear. Maybe they’ll be like this (Leach mimics raptor hands), like those dinosaur hands like this, And you’ve got like a tyrannosaurus rex, which is clearly really good at eating things, with big ol’ jaws and all that stuff, certainly athletic and can run.”
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Leach concluded the one-of-a-kind press conference by stating he hopes his wide receivers hands to disappear.
“I mean, and I don’t want all of a sudden guys driving across this country, and then they get to Starkville, Mississippi, and all of a sudden there’s these athletic-looking friendly guys, because we have great guys, that don’t have any hands. And I hope that that’s not the case, but that’s where we’re headed right now.”
Earlier this month, Leach shared his thoughts on coffee.
“Well, coffee tastes terrible anyway,” Leach said when asked how he takes his coffee. “So, don’t put anything in it to obstruct the harsh, bitter taste. Just put it down one sip at a time.”
“The experience is terrible,” Leach continued.
Mississippi State (5-3) is coming off two consecutive losses. The team is on a bye week, but return to action on Nov. 5 to play Auburn in Starkville.